Fragile Girl
by silver blood
Summary: Written entirely from Jess's point of view. PS/ the song in the last chapter is "Like a Stone" by Audioslave
1. Chapter One

I look at her and I wonder.  
  
I wonder how she got me so wrapped around her finger. Hanging on her every word.  
  
I wonder why it is that she can look at me, see the hunger in my eyes, and simply turn away.   
  
Refusing to give me any satisfaction.  
  
And I wonder,  
  
Constantly.  
  
How she can do these things and still remain innocent.  
  
Her words are like daggers.   
  
She cares. She loves. Yet she continues her innocence.   
  
She has never been burned, because she has never dared to go near the flame. It may be cliche, but it's true. And suddenly, here I am. This guy that interests her, that dares to challenge her. I'm this guy that came into her perfect life and set it on fire.  
  
I'm looking at her, and all I see is fear. It's in her eyes. She knows she should stay away.  
  
For a while, she did.   
  
But she's here now, standing in front of me, eyes dancing with the hunger that I have only before seen in my own reflection.  
  
And I know now, that it's okay. I can fall, because she will be there to catch me. There is not a shadow of a doubt left in my heart.  
  
So I fall. It's simple. I touch her hand, and pull her inside. Pulling her to my room. We kiss.  
  
She tastes good.  
  
Like cinnamon.   
  
I never want to let go, and I don't know if I will.   
  
But she breaks away, and I look into her eyes.  
  
I see the hunger, and I see the fear, but I now see something new.  
  
She *loves* me.  
  
She may love Dean, but as she looks into my eyes with trust stretching beyond anything, I know.   
  
I know that she has *never* looked at him like that.   
  
Because if she had looked at him like that, he would never have let her go. He would not have left her side. He would never let their hands fall apart, or their eyes break away.  
  
He would hurt, deep down, every time they touched. He would treat her like a woman. Not like the fragile girl she pretended to be.   
  
The fragile girl that would never be in Jess's bed. In Jess's arms. Looking at Jess in a way that suggested she had been playing with matches. No words need be spoken. I pull her close and kiss her breath away.   
  
I know what she wants.  
  
I pull away and stand, leading her to the door. I say goodbye with my eyes, and I see tears start to fall down her cheeks.  
  
I know what she wants.  
  
Unfortuately, I also know what she needs.  
  
I close the door and listen to her footsteps fade away.  
  
She may never forgive me, but it's understandable.  
  
A thought occurs to me, and I write it down. It rings true as I read it aloud.  
  
"She is no longer an enigma to me,   
She has come unwrapped at my feet.  
And while I watch her where she lays,   
Naked... beneath my gaze,   
May my wonderment cease…  
She is not ready, to love but me."  
  
TBC 


	2. Chapter Two

Sometimes I don't understand myself.  
  
This beautiful, perfect girl throws herself at me… This beautiful, perfect girl who *loves*   
me, comes into my bed and throws herself at me, and I turn her away.  
  
I make her cry.  
  
There should have been nothing holding me back from taking her, from devouring her, in   
all her innocence. In my bed, she had lain, beautiful, ready to be taken.  
  
And I had left her cold, untouched. Why, when I want her, when I *love* her so?  
  
Because if I'd touched her, she would no longer be perfect. One kiss tainted her already,   
what would happen if I tell her, in all honesty, how much I love her?  
  
I find her at the bridge, tears rolling down her cheeks. I know she feels she has no one,   
that everyone who ever cares will desert her, push her away. I have felt that way many   
times.   
  
I sit next to her, I take her hand.   
  
Because of me, she has lost her boyfriend, and quite possibly a good part of the   
relationship with her mother. I have nothing to give her that will fill the holes that I know   
I have made in her heart.  
  
So I wrap my arm around her, and I hold her, well into the night.  
  
She asks why I don't talk to her. Why I don't confide in her any longer.   
  
"Jess, I love you," she says quietly. I nod. I already know.  
  
"And I love you." I reply, wanting her to believe that I truly do.  
  
She kisses me softly, and I am floating on to heaven…  
  
  
TBC 


	3. Chapter Three

I open my eyes, and for a moment I am confused.   
  
**On a cobweb afternoon   
In a room full of emptiness   
By a freeway I confess   
I was lost in the pages   
Of a book full of death   
Reading how we'll die alone   
And if we're good we'll lay to rest   
Anywhere we want to go**  
  
Then I remember.   
  
Rory is here, her head on my shoulder, wrapped tightly in my arms. She is sleeping   
peacefully, and though I have no desire to wake her, I know I must.   
  
**In your house I long to be   
Room by room patiently   
I'll wait for you there   
Like a stone I'll wait for you there   
Alone**  
  
The sun is rising over the bridge, and the sky is gray with a shock of orange. I touch her   
face lightly.  
  
"Rory, wake up."  
  
**On my deathbed I will prey   
To the gods and the angels   
Like a pagan to anyone   
Who will take me to heaven   
To a place I recall   
I was there so long ago   
The sky was bruised   
The wine was bled   
And there you led me on**  
  
Rory opens her eyes, and I feel a jolt in my stomach. They're so blue, those eyes.  
  
Those eyes I fell in love with.  
  
**In your house I long to be   
Room by room patiently   
I'll wait for you there   
Like a stone I'll wait for you there   
Alone**  
She's smiling, until she sees the sky.  
  
"Shit!"  
  
I laugh softly as she jumps up, hyper aware of the situation she's in. I love when she does   
or says something totally unexpected. It keeps me on guard, we both know she has to   
leave, even though she doesn't want to.  
  
I pull her close and kiss her, lost in the warm, moist inside of her mouth. She's perfect.  
  
**And on I read   
Until the day was done   
And I sat in regret   
Of all the things I've done   
For all that I've blessed   
And all that I've wronged   
In dreams until my death   
I will wander on**  
She promises to call and I nod, watching her run away. I sit on the bridge for a while,   
thinking. I think about her, and it breaks my heart. I know that I have already ruined   
things for her. I have shattered her world. But I love her. 


End file.
